


How to win a guy according to Louis Tomlinson

by ajsucker



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 19:31:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajsucker/pseuds/ajsucker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn thinks the problem with being Louis Tomilson's best mate is that he's Louis Tomilson's best mate. Fortunately for him, it has its upsides.</p><p>(or Louis makes it his mission to get Zayn and Harry together)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I started writing this and was going to post it on tumblr but it's shaping up to be way longer than I expected. It's actually scaring me a bit how much I'm getting out of this, but its cool though.

Zayn thinks the problem with being Louis Tomilson’s best mate is that he’s Louis Tomilson’s best mate. It means that despite having a phone book full of people he could call with his crazy ideas and stupid pranks, he calls Zayn first. And Zayn considers himself a good lad, probably too good of one because he rolls with it every time. It doesn’t matter if it’s something that could get him suspended for a week or kicked out of school; Zayn tries (usually not hard enough) to get him to rethink it and ends up beside him as he breaks into his history class and teepees it while half pissed or destroys the principal’s office.

 

Zayn knows he’s seen as the bad boy of the group. He knows that between him, Louis, Niall, and Liam people whisper about him being the bad seed and Louis being the wild child. Niall’s just a crazy fun lad and Liam is sensible one everyone questions why he hangs out with them. Zayn kind of gets it too, because he knows the leather jacket that he loves so much doesn’t help his image but he kind of likes owning it just to fuck with people. He’s the quiet art kid that smokes between the dumpsters behind the lunch hall and is somehow considered the leader of a group of mischiefs. It’s all good for a laugh, his life is officially out of a shitty TV show even though the truth is he’s more of a follower than a leader and would rather stay out of trouble than dive head first into it. Zayn just knows that without him Louis would spiral.

 

“Mr. Malik, I think it’s important that you understand the seriousness of what’s going on here.” Zayn blinks and tries to keep himself focused. He knows that Cowell has nothing, Louis is reckless and a little off his shit but he happens to be the most careful planner Zayn has ever seen. It’s a little worrying and makes Zayn glad to know that Louis keeps his activities to pranks and not robbing banks or actually killing the endless number of people he has on his hitlist.

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Cowell,” Zayn says with a shrug trying to look as innocent as possible. It’s a little bit harder for him than Louis to actually pull off but he puts his best effort forward. “I don’t know who would ever do…”

 

“Mr. Malik do not play me for a fool.” Zayn sinks back into his seat when Cowell slams his hands on the desk, raising from his chair and levying him with a glare. His lips are shut tightly and he’s sure he shrinks a bit. It’s always fun to cock up Cowell’s day since he’s an uptight prick, but Zayn forgets how downright nasty he can be on a bad day. It’s not that he regrets the things they pull, but sometimes Zayn doesn’t think about how real it gets after they’re done laughing their asses off. “I know you had a hand in this and let me tell you this, the moment I get some proof both of you are out of here.”

 

If he weren’t so sure of Louis, Zayn’s pretty sure he’d be shitting bricks then and there. That confidence is the only thing that has him nodding his head and saying, “I hope you find whoever did it.” He puts on the friendliest smile he can muster with his heart racing and hopes he can get his feet to work as he pushing himself off the chair with its armrest. He doesn’t wait for Cowell to dismiss him and lets out a breath of relief when his feet move and successfully gets him out of the office. When he gets outside, Eleanor’s no longer at the desk but Louis’ sitting there with his ear buds in playing on his mobile. Zayn tugs at the wire hard enough that Louis flinches back when it pops out of his ears and looks upward.

 

“You fucking asshole,” Louis hisses and takes a weak swing at Zayn that lands on his ribs. Zayn lets out breath and chuckles softly, something he so desperately needs, his fingers twitching as he tries to relieve some stress. “How’d it go?”

 

“Pretty sure Cowell shrunk my balls and chopped off my dick in there.”

 

“Really?” Louis asks and starts patting at Zayn’s jeans, his hands moving uncomfortably close to his crotch. Zayn swats him away and nods at the door.

 

“C’mon man, I need a fucking fag. I just about died in there.”

 

“I don’t know why,” Louis says with his voice rising just high enough that Zayn knows he’s trying to fuck with Cowell. He stands up from the seat and stretches so Zayn lets him have his fun as they start walking towards the exit of the office. “We didn’t do anything, we’re completely innocent. I really wish Mr. Cowell would stop picking on us, it’s like harassment or something right!” Zayn rolls his eyes but lets out a little laugh because Louis is so ridiculous that it’s hard to believe he’s real sometimes. But it gets him a little calmer knowing that he’s in this fucked up situation with him, and when Louis swings an arm around his shoulders Zayn knows if they go down they’re going down together. He’s reaching for the door handle when it swings open from the other side; pushing the door towards him so hard he has to take a step back to avoid getting hit in the face.

 

“Oh crap, sorry man.” Zayn sways as he tries to find his balance when Louis steadies him with a hand on his lower back. “Sorry, sorry, fuck.” He tries to shrug it off but the guy’s eyebrows are pulled inward and he looks so concerned stepping forward to check in on him.

 

“I’m good,” Zayn says, hands splayed outward to show that he’s still standing. “If you’re going in to see Cowell, watch your back.” It’s meant to be an offhanded statement but the guy stops in front of him and arches a brow, a smile pulling at his lips that Zayn finds himself returning unnecessarily.

 

“Yeah, you think it’s a bad time?”

 

“I think the knob would kick you out just for stepping in there right now. Got his knickers all in a bunch or something.” He hears Louis laugh behind him and grins taking the guy in. Zayn thinks it’s important to appreciate pretty things; it’s why he loves art so much. It might be an oversimplified way to think about it, but it’s true. Art’s pretty. It’s colors and light and imagery and imagination. It’s conception at its finest. Pulling something from nothing and leaving it out there to be witnessed and scrutinized. There’s nothing prettier than that, to leave yourself out on a canvas and letting the world take over.

 

It’s bold and fucking beautiful, Zayn loves that.

 

He thinks this guy’s pretty from an aesthetically objective point of view. Even with his hair spread about unruly and the white t-shirt he has on with a hole in it around his shoulder and right around the hem of it. He’s put together a little haphazardly like he didn’t take a second to think about his outfit. The hole in his jeans look more deliberate but the ones in his shirt has to be a mistake he didn’t care enough to fix.

 

“Yeah, um,” he smiling now and Zayn takes notice of the dimples in his cheeks. It’s a little ridiculous; he’s never actually met anyone with dimples before, _what the fuck_. “He can’t actually kick me out, he’d probably ground me or something.”

 

Louis starts cackling instantly, doubling over and gripping on Eleanor’s desk for balance, but Zayn’s a little lost in it. When he looks back at this, he knows he’ll be embarrassed at Louis piecing things together before him. There’s no excuse for this.

 

“What?”

 

Louis laughs harder and the guy chuckles a bit, it makes Zayn blush, his cheeks reddening so hard he has to look away from him. His eyes bounce from the clock to the shitty paintings that are supposed to decorate the wall but gives the opposite effect.

 

“He’s my father.” Zayn’s eyes dart to him, widening and Louis falls over one the ground, rolling and laughing so hard that Cowell peaks his head out and sends a glare over in their direction.

 

“Mr. Malik and Mr. Tomilson unless you’d like to spend tomorrow and Saturday afternoon in school I suggest you leave my office now and take your noise elsewhere. Harry, come in.” Zayn just stares at him dumbly but Harry, _fuck his name is Harry_ , gives him a little wave.

 

“Thanks for the heads up,” It’s not cocky of Zayn to say he considers himself to be good looking. After being told so many times by strangers and friends and hell even teachers, he starts to buy into his own hype a little bit. It’s not like he spends hours staring at himself in the mirror but he’s looked and he likes what he sees. Zayn also knows when he’s being pulled at, and the cheeky grin that Harry gives him along with the once over, that feels like something significant.

 

“Come the fuck on Lou.” Zayn gets a weak grip on his arm and tugs until Louis’ on his feet wiping at his eyes dramatically as if it was that funny. “Wasn’t that funny.”

 

“Oh ho, ho, ho,” Louis chortles and Zayn tries to ignore him, fishing in his back pocket for his cigs. He needs a smoke so damn badly he can feel it in his bones. “You, dear sir, are wrong. You just showed your ass to the headmaster’s kid, you fucked up dearest Zayn.”

 

“Whatever,” he grumbles out and taps on the pack, opening it to tug out a fag. He knows Louis well enough to know that he'll reach his grubby little hands out for one and gets an extra one out, and then takes a third to place behind his ear. He slides it between his lips, but only lights it when they step out through the double doors and reach Louis’ beat up Chevy. “He was checking me out anyways.” He tries to make it an offhanded gesture as he lights his first cig but when he sees Louis freeze in front of him he knows he’s been made.

 

“Oh really?” Louis says, his voice getting higher as he steps directly in front of Zayn, an eyebrow arched. Zayn kind of wants to punch him in his face but he takes a long inhale instead, feeling it calm him down from the tips of his fingers to his toes. “Was a love connection made? Don’t tell me it’s happening again.”

 

“Fuck you, Lou.”

 

“What?” He raises his hands in the air and Zayn throws his lighter at him aiming for his chest. Louis’ ready though, snatches it before it connects and Zayn rolls his eyes. “Don’t be cruel Zed, it’s so unbecoming of you.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Aww babe, I’m sure you’d rather fuck Harry though.” Zayn kind of hates Louis and how well he knows him. He hates himself for the images that flicker through his mind so quickly of Harry and his hair and that face, those fucking lips around his cock. His fingers tangled in those curls. Zayn sucks in his cig instead a responding, a quick inhale that goes down all wrong and has him coughing roughly. “It’s okay dearest Zayn, I have a plan.”

 

Zayn collects himself enough to stare blankly at Louis. “He’s Cowell’s kid, do I even have to say how wrong this is?”

 

“When has something being wrong ever stopped us? And he clearly doesn’t care if he tried to pull you outside his dad’s office. Zayn, that is a bad boy if I’ve ever seen one. Get with it,” Louis says and takes a pull from his cig. “It’ll be fun.” This is the point that Zayn should be putting up a token resistance. Louis plans work, but there’s always an element of disaster and chaos involved. And it’s never a guaranteed success, they’ve pulled off some crazy shit together, but Zayn’s also been in detention and suspended so many times he shouldn’t be able to see the outside of his room. But it’s Louis, and the thought of Harry on his knees with his mouth stuffed with Zayn’s cock is so beautiful that Zayn doesn’t want to put up a fight. He shrugs his shoulders and grins when Louis jumps up and down in joy.

 

 

 

 

**Step One: Information**

 

Louis swings a stick at the white board sounding a loud clap through the room. Zayn rolls his eyes and lets out a yawn. School just ended fifteen minutes ago and he’d usually be trying to get a nap in while Louis was at home looking after his siblings. Zayn has no idea who's watching them but he wishes they'd call so Louis could leave and he could get some sleep. He'd rather not be stuck staring at a white board with four steps on it and empty spaces he knows Louis will take his time filling.

 

“Okay my young and love-struck pupil.” Zayn’s about to object, because he’s definitely not love-struck or love _anything_ when the stick swats at the board again. “No talking unless you’re called on, those are the rules." Louis pauses and Zayn huffs. What a prick. "Now, in order to woo your little boo, we need to go through four little steps.” He places the stick down and picks up a marker, points the capped tip at the first step and says, “The first one is pretty simple. So tell me Zayn, what do we know about Harry?”

 

Zayn furrows his brow and tips his head to the side as he wonders if Louis is serious or fucking with him. Zayn would bet everything he owns that it’s a strange mix of both. Louis taps on the board clearly expecting a response so Zayn shrugs his shoulder and answers. “Nothing.”

 

“Exactly, we know nothing!” He exclaims and points at Zayn with a grin. “So we need to get what? _Information_.” Louis writes the word in capital letters and then takes the time to add what looks like ten exclamation points beside the word. “To the untrained eye, this may seem impossible. Think about it, we know nothing and the only source we have looks like Cowell right?” Zayn nods because it’s true, he can’t think of anyone else that can give them answers. “But see, you forgot one other valuable resource didn’t you?” Louis pauses for effect and Zayn rolls his eyes and sighs, waiting for him to finish. “Eleanor.”

 

\---

 

“Hello Eleanor, don’t you look absolutely lovely today. New haircut?” Zayn cringes as he walks in step behind Louis. He has to, Louis’ was right when he said that Eleanor could very well know all about Harry, but Eleanor also seems to hates them probably just as much as Cowell. Zayn thinks they’re walking into a dead end, but he figures at worst he’ll get to see Louis embarrass himself in front of her.

 

“Mr. Cowell’s out and I’m busy,” she says simply. Zayn knows it’s a simple way of telling Louis to leave, he knows that Louis’ probably picked up on it too but he still settles a hip on her desk. Zayn sits in a chair on the other side of the wall and watches.

 

“I bet you’re busy, you know my mum always told me that the hardest jobs are being a teacher and secretary.”

 

“And yet you make it your mission to make our job’s even harder, yeah?” Zayn impressed with how she throws her comments at him but keeps her eyes focused on her computer, typing away without stopping to even throw him a glance.

 

Louis steps up and away from the desk in his usual overdramatic fashion, a hand on his chest as he lets out a gasp, “see now I am just insulted, how dare you, Eleanor.” Zayn sees Eleanor roll her eyes and bites down on his lip to keep his smile contained. “I’ll have you know that I am a perfect A student, I am basically a model student in the classroom.”

 

“I know you’re an A student babe, you’re a bright kid. That’s why it’s disappointing to have to work through your countless write-ups and when I say countless, I mean endless.” She ends her typing there, finally takes a second to look at Louis. “You can be better than this.”

 

“I know, it’s just a little fun for a laugh,” Eleanor shakes her head and grabs his hand, interlaces their fingers. Zayn stands instantly, zoning in on them as she tugs on the neck of his shirt and pulls him down into a kiss.

 

“Hold the fuck up Tomilson,” Zayn yells out as they pull away, a smirk riding on his Louis lips when he breaks away from the kiss, his lips wet and glistening with her lip-gloss. “Really?”

 

“Relax Zayn, I told him if he told anyone I’d chop him up personally. I know you’re best mates, but this is my job we’re talking about.” Elenaor shrugs unapologetically and Zayn stares between the two of them still trying to make sense of this. “What do you need?”

 

“Our little Zayn here’s in love with Harry, what do you happen to know about him?”

 

“Harry, as in Harry Styles?”

 

“I’m not in love with him,” Zayn says, feeling the need to make that as clear as possible.

 

“Well you damn well better fall in love with him. He’s the cutest kid I know and if this is part of some prank to fuck with Simon, I refuse to get involved.”

 

“Really? You think I’m that much of a lame?” Eleanor doesn’t answer and Louis shakes his head even though he’s smiling at her. “Promise, he’s totally in denial. He in love, he just doesn’t know it yet.” Zayn parts his lips to talk but can only let out a huff when Louis kicks at his shin.

 

Elenaor looks over the two of them, her eyebrow raised as if she’s assessing their motives. Finally, she points between them and nods as if she made up her decision. “No funny business, he’s seriously a good kid. He works at the bakery on the weekends, see if you can catch him there.”

 

 

 

 

\---

“I got it Louis,” Zayn repeats for what feels like the tenth time. “Pretty sure I know how to pull a guy.”

 

“See, this is why you need me Zayn Malik. You’re not just pulling a guy, you’re getting the love of your life.” Zayn takes a step back and bumps into Louis’ Chevy, he leans back against it to keep himself upright.

 

“Can you stop saying that? I’m not in love with the guy, I know nothing about him.”

 

“There is something called love at first sight Zayn,” Louis says with a dramatic eye roll. “It exists, and you sir, are a sucker feeling it. The quicker you understand that, the better it is for you. This isn’t just some random pull, this is huge Zayn. You can’t just walk in there and be your pretty, pretty self. You need to woo him, show him your best and hide away your worst. You need to pull out all the stops.”

 

Zayn shakes his head and opens the door carefully, barely remembering that the door needs to be opened with a light touch. “You’re fucking insane Lou, let’s go before I change my mind and have you committed.”

 

Zayn only realizes he may be in a little bit of trouble when Louis has to park down the street because all of the spots are filled. To say the bakery is packed would be an understatement, there’s a line that almost leads out to the front door of waiting customers and the inside it feels even worse with people tightly packed waiting for tables to open to take a seat. Zayn gets it, it smells incredible inside and with every inhale he takes in the smell of fresh pastries that almost gets him tempted enough to buy something.

 

He hasn’t seen Harry yet, so far the only people working the front have been two teenaged girls and Zayn’s getting a little antsy. The place is a lot more active than he expected it to be and he keeps getting shoved about the room. He’s almost starting to believe that this, whatever Louis is trying to build and whatever he felt in that brief moment, isn’t worth it until he sees Harry coming out of the back with what looks like freshly baked bread.

 

Zayn can be honest and say he looks a bit of a mess. There are white streaks all about his face, Zayn assumes it flour. He has an apron on, but Zayn can still see batter all around his neck and the collar of his shirt. He places the bread down and turns his head, he looks exhausted really, but he catches Zayn’s eye and smiles brightly with a wave that makes Zayn stand rooted in his spot unable to come with anything in response. He looks like he wants to make his way over and Zayn thinks _fuck_ , he has no idea how he’d be able to handle that. He thinks about running out because his palms are sweating and he feels suddenly suffocated by everything and everyone in the room.

 

But then a voice calls out, “Harry,” and he turns his head towards the kitchen, gives Zayn another wave before turning back around, pushing open a door to leave the room. Zayn lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and walks out of the bakery. He digs in his back pocket quickly and grabs his cigs, lights a fag and only feels a sense of relief after a few inhales.

 

“I’m so fucked,” he says and only realizes Louis was standing beside him, staring quietly when he turns his head. Louis doesn’t make a snarky response, doesn’t say I told you so, and doesn’t even poke at him like he usually does. Instead, he places a hand on his neck and rubs into the spot that always seems to calm him down a hitch. It makes him feel even worse.

 

“You’re in love babe, accept it, welcome it, and let me help you get it.” He wants to say he’s not in love because he thinks he’d be able to tell if he was. How the hell would Louis know before him? And when the hell did Louis become such a believer in love at first sight. Zayn just gives in though, shrugs his shoulder and smokes through two more cigs before nodding silently.

 

 

**Step Two: Leave him something to remember you by**

“So that was good right, we found out a lot of things.” Zayn’s exhausted. He spent all of the night before on a piece for an upcoming showcase Mrs. White wouldn’t stop trying to get him to submit something to. He’s happy with the way it came out, even if he only slept for an hour, but now he needs his nap. Everything in him wants to kick Louis out and tell him to go fuck himself but he barely has enough energy to keep his eyes open. He’s not so sure he could push Louis anywhere. “We found out a lot of good things.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah Zayn, we did. And it’s the perfect lead in into step two. See, now we know where Harry works yeah? We know he works the busy hours, which means he’s probably really stressed out after work. He works in the back so he’s doing the most stressful part of the job. And you know what that means?” Zayn shrugs, he barely even knows his own name at this point. Louis shakes his head but continues, “It means he enjoys baking. He loves it, he lives for it."

 

“Okay,” Zayn says simply, he’s still not sure where Louis’ going with this.

 

“Okay, don’t just say okay Zayn, I’m leading you to the motherland here, mate. Step one was such a huge success, not only do you know where Harry works, you know what he does, and you know how busy he is. Poor kid probably doesn’t get enough time for a laugh with how much he works, which leads us right into step two.

 

“Step two?” Zayn repeats watching as Louis uncaps the marker and starts writing.

 

“Yep, you need to leave him something to remember you by,” Louis reads it with a firm nod.

 

“What the hell does that mean?”

 

“That means that you need to woo him, leave him little gifts that’ll make his day. Little pick me ups that he can stare at while he’s whipping up delicious pastries in the back. Things that will make him want to live when he’s being swamped. Come on Zayn, think about it, it’s perfect!” Zayn wants to pretend not to see the genius in this but it’s true. It is a great plan, and when Zayn thinks back to how stressed Harry looked in that brief moment, he knows he’d like to be the reason he’s just a little more relieved at work.

 

“Okay, so what am I sending him?”

 

“That is up to you. I can come up with the plans but I can’t give you this. When my master plan works and you two lovebirds are together, do you really want it to be me that does this part?” Zayn shrugs his shoulders and tries not to think about it too much. “Exactly, so you sit on that and when you get your gift, I’ll be your messenger. I got to head out now, taking El out but let me know yeah?” Zayn still needs to call him out on that, the Eleanor thing. It’s almost funny how now Zayn’s hearing all about El when just a week ago he didn’t know she existed outside of Cowell’s office.

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

Zayn takes a nap. He needs it, he can feel how much he needs it and he barely places his head on his pillow before he’s zoned out, eyes that are so heavy with the need falling shut. When he wakes up two hours later he doesn’t remember what he dreamt about but he thinks about Louis’ plan and how crazy and elaborate it is. He thinks about Harry and the bakery and feels a strong urge to draw. He makes it to his table quickly, gets a pencil and takes down a few notes of what he wants to get down. Sometimes he has to do this because he always seems to lose his ideas as quickly as he gets them. He jots down a few words:

 

_Curls, Cowell, bakery, hero, villain, me_

 

He knows its risky, sending Harry a sketch of his father as a villain stealing all of the food from the customers in the bakery while Harry looks dejected. Zayn hopes he can find the humor in it, in Zayn being a hero swooping in to save the day. He spends hours working on it because he keeps staring and stopping, second-guessing himself whenever he draws in a curl on Harry’s head or shapes his face. He kind of wishes he had a photo and then thinks better of that, knowing that he’d never be able to get anything done with a photo of him.

 

Zayn chain-smokes when he thinks he’s done, sucking his way through four cigs before texting Louis that he’s finished. When Louis comes to pick it up he has it wrapped up to keep it from being smeared. Louis takes it instantly, it’s Sunday which means Harry should be at work, which means Louis’ taking it right over. Zayn can’t handle going in and seeing his reaction so he stays home and burns his way through four more cigs.

 

He’s pretty sure he just killed his lungs, but it feels so worth it when his phone buzzes beside him and he reads this text from Louis:

 

_He just laughed so hard he cried looking at it. Way to get in there man_

 

Zayn saves the text to his favorites and sucks down another fag trying to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn freaks, Eleanor saves the day, there's some baking and a bit of smut to round it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the final part, hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks so much for all the lovely comments and the kudos, the feedback is amazing!

 

**Step Three: Romance**

Zayn doesn’t like feeling on edge, it makes him productive.

 

When he was twelve his father was in the hospital for two weeks. He’d never been more of a model student than in that moment. Between going to mosque with his mother and praying five times a day despite being too young to understand it, he completed all his assignments and spent days and nights studying when he could, and then reading when there was nothing left to study.

 

He knows it takes about twenty minutes to get from the bakery to his house and in that time Zayn is on edge and scarily focused on completing a writing assignment for his English class. It’s where Louis finds him when he steps into the room, editing through the two pages he has written.

 

“And you say you’re not in love,” Louis quips as he plops himself down on his bed, making himself comfortable. Zayn holds up a finger trying to get through the paper and jot down the last of his thoughts before he loses it. When he feels comfortable enough, he turns around glaring.

 

“`m not in love.” He knows his words will fall on deaf ears but he always feels the need to say it. Zayn taps his fingers against the armrest on the chair, he’s still feeling antsy and kind of wants to smoke but he’s done it so much today he knows it’s best to avoid it. “Well?”

 

Louis smirks and raises a brow at him, clearly trying to make this as painful as possible for him. He’s such a shit. “Well what dearest Zayn?”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Are you sure it’s me you want to fuck though?” He asks with a grin. “No,  I think it’s the love of your life.”

 

“Louis,” Zayn says flatly.

 

“Oh come on, this is just gold.” He shifts on the bed and kicks his trainers off, placing his feet up with his arms crossed behind his head. “What do you wanna’ know?”

 

“I don’t know,” Zayn says with what he hopes is a casual shrug, his nerves are killing him. “Um, did he say anything?”

 

“Not really, we didn’t get to talk though, it was a little busy. I saw him when he opened it, pretty positive he had hearts in his eyes.” He knows Louis’ watching him, watching the way he starts smiling despite himself. Zayn knows his tapping is probably getting obnoxious because it’s no longer just his fingers; his right foot is shaking with his toes dancing against the ground. He’s just glad Louis can’t tell just how much his heart's racing, he has more than enough blackmail material already. “You know if you had curls and stupid dimples you could pass for his twin right now.”

 

“So you think he liked it?” Zayn has to ask and then bite down on his bottom lip in hopes that he keeps his smile contained.

 

Louis gives him a once over; his eyes narrowed as he takes him in. “Are you daft? Why are you even asking me that.” He says more than asks. “Hearts in eyes Zayn, come on.” Zayn licks his lips and nods; he keeps his legs from moving enough to cross them at the ankles. “Great, now step three, _romance_ ,” He says with his usual pause. They’re not at his house and there’s no white board to write on but Louis doesn’t look bothered, he’s staring at the ceiling as he speaks. “You’re going to wine and dine him at my house tomorrow night when I put together some bullshit party. He’s already invited and coming. I’ll do the set up, and all you need to do is show up and be your pretty little lovely self.” Louis turns his head over with a smile that Zayn assumes he should take as comforting. His leg drops from his knee and starts moving again. “Got it?”

 

He knows he’ll be getting a lot of work done tonight but he nods and say, “`kay.”

 

\---

When it’s time for the party, Zayn finishes his paper and gets halfway through a book he was supposed to have been reading from the beginning of the year but only just flipped open that night. He wants to believe he’s fine on the drive over, but he only realizes he’s losing his shit when he can’t bring himself to cross the street and get to Louis’ front door. He sends him a quick text instead:

 

_Not doing it_

 

Then he fishes his pack of cigs from his back pocket, pulls out a fag and hopes he can smoke his nerves away. The thing is, he put himself in the worst standoff possible. He can’t make himself go into Louis’ house, but everything in him also refuses to drive away also. At this point, Zayn’s hoping the lung cancer that’s been building in him since he was sixteen catches up to him and puts him out of his misery.

 

He’s gone through two fags when he sees Eleanor on the other side of the street making her way over. Zayn’s not sure what to do about it; he’s never really spoken to her outside of the office. He can’t think of why she’d be the one to come after him. He expected Louis at some point to come try and drag him in—not her though.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She hisses when she’s a few steps in front of him and Zayn presses himself back against the car trying to shrink into it. But then she shakes her head and smiles at him, her face softening a bit. “Just kidding, but seriously, what’s wrong babe?”

 

“Nothing,” he says with a shrug. It’s a lot easier to lie to her than Louis, Zayn hopes she can buy his shit more than him. “Just not feeling up to it anymore.”

 

‘Really?” She cocks up her right leg and places a hand on her hip. “That why you’ve been standing out here for twenty minutes smoking your life away?”

 

“`m not in love with him,” Zayn blurts out because that’s what’s been on his mind all night and it’s fucking him up more than he’d like to admit. He’s stressed out with the thought of it, of meeting Harry and blurting out the words because it’s been rattling around in his head and Zayn just knows Harry will think he has all his screws loose.

 

“Aww babe,” Eleanor says with a laugh that makes Zayn stiffen. “Is this because of Louis, you know you shouldn’t listen to everything that comes out of his mouth right?” Zayn wants to say he doesn’t usually, he’s the one that tries to pull him down to earth when he comes up with a grand plan. But Louis’ been right so much lately that it’s hard for him to get a word in. “Listen carefully okay, the first time Louis saw me he told me I was the woman of his dreams and declared his love for me. This was before Simon gave him detention for two weeks. I didn’t know him from a face in the crowd and he gives me a look and says he’s in love with me, can you believe that shit?”

 

“Yeah actually, I can,” Zayn says in between laughing and shaking his head because Louis is that ridiculous.

 

“I can say I love him now, but when we first met? I thought he was a nut, but that’s Louis, he’s all about grand gestures and love at first sight and all that kinds of crazy.” She sets him with a look and points at his chest. “You don’t have to be though. You’re in love with him; you’re not in love with him. Who gives a fuck? Harry’s amazing and in there and he wants to see you. Don’t let Louis’ bullshit stress you out hun, you got this.”

 

Zayn stares at her and in that moment he kind of loves her too. He gets what Louis sees in her, it's scary how amazing she is.

 

“Yeah,” he whispers, mouth around his fag and takes a final inhale, blows upward so it doesn’t get into her face. Eleanor’s smiling as he drops it, crushes the cig into the concrete beneath his feet. She wraps a hand around his waist as they walk together towards the door and Zayn takes a breath before she pulls it open.

 

He doesn’t see Harry when he steps inside but he catches Louis in the living room, seated on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table. Zayn knows he wouldn’t get away with that if his mum were home. “Kitchen,” Louis says simply nodding towards the entrance to it while Eleanor slips away from him and onto the couch, into Louis’ arms.

 

Zayn nods and makes his way into the kitchen, pushes the door open to see Harry mixing something together in a bowl. “Are you….baking?” He asks because that’s where his mind goes when he sees an open bag of flour and powder smeared on his forehead.

 

“Maybe,” Harry says a little sheepishly, Zayn sees his cheeks redden as he give him a little smile. “Calms me down.”

 

“Yeah,” Zayn responds and nods his head in understanding walking over to stand beside him. “Chain smoking does it for me, school work if it’s really bad”

 

“School work?’ Harry asks, raising a brow as he stares him down, the batter in front of him forgotten.

 

Zayn shrugs simply, says, “finished a paper and got some reading done all last night, my lit teacher would be proud.”

 

“Well I baked a triple layer cake, two dozen muffins and a dozen cupcakes. Pretty sure my whole family just gained like two stones.” Harry lets out a chuckle and Zayn laughs with him, feeling all the stress leaving his body as the laughter crackles through the room. “`m better now though,” He says, eyes set on Zayn with a smile that sends his heart racing in the best way.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Me too,” Zayn says with finality, returning Harry’s smile. “Want some help with this? Never baked but I’m willing to learn.” Harry nods his head before Zayn finishes asking, a single curl bouncing in his face with it. Zayn fingers twitch beside him until he gives into the urge to push it back into the mess of hair on his head as Harry says,

 

“`course.”

 

**Step Four: Pounce**

 

Zayn comes up with step four himself sometime between making banana bread and dinner. He never quite expected Harry to be so…well— _forward_. The first time it happened he thought he was looking into things too hard because it's such a surprise. Zayn’s never been an active participant when his sister would try to whip things up in the kitchen or his father would bake because his mum hated cooking with every fiber of her being. He was mostly into eating, too lazy to actually feel up to babysitting food.

 

Harry keeps it fun though, or maybe it’s just that Zayn finds himself liking him so much that the process files itself as fun in his head. He shows him how to mash the bananas and mix in all the other ingredients until his arm’s sore with the mixing and it’s done enough to pour it into a pan.

 

“What’s next?” Zayn asks slumped over the counter with his elbows on the tabletop.

 

“Now, we just wait,” Harry says with a grin after the oven’s shut and the timer’s running. He walks back over to pick up one of the last two bananas that he says aren’t ripe enough to be used.

 

It’s in this moment that he thinks: _pounce, pounce, pounce;_ when Harry peels the banana until it’s near the very bottom and swallows almost half of it in one swoop. His eyes are set on Zayn’s, watching him carefully and Zayn’s positive he forgets how to breathe when Harry comes back up and only takes off the top piece to chew. “I love bananas,” he says after swallowing the piece in his mouth and taking another small bite.

 

Zayn nods his head and _holy fuck_ _if that isn’t the cheesiest and somehow hottest thing he’s ever seen_.

 

They’re actually eating the second time it happens. Louis and Eleanor are seated across the table leaving him and Harry to sit next to each other. Zayn’s not complaining, he likes being next to Harry more than he thought he would, fancies him more than he ever imagined he could. Zayn’s cutting himself a piece of banana bread when Louis bites into his and gives an obnoxious moan. Zayn rolls his eyes, but smiles when Louis says, “this may be the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

 

“It was really all Zayn.” Harry smiles and pats his leg, rubs his hand up his thigh. Zayn takes it as a friendly touch originally, bites down on his bottom lip and tries his hardest to keep himself from flushing.

 

He fails.

 

Harry doesn’t take his hand off his leg though, keeps it right there and cuts into the rest of his meal with his right hand. Zayn thinks: _pounce, pounce, pounce_ and _fuck, fuck, fuck_ for the rest of dinner.

 

Everything comes to a head when they’re gathered in the living room after dinner. “Zayn, do you mind giving Harry a ride home?”

 

Zayn blinks, just a little confused. “You want me to go to Cowell’s house and drop his son off?”

 

It looks like Eleanor’s about to respond, probably give him a snappy comeback because Zayn realizes over dinner that she’s really good about doing that. But Harry turns to face him and says something that breaks Zayn’s entire existence, “no one’s gonna’ be there, just me.”

 

“Oh,” Zayn mumbles, nodding his head as he clutches onto the sofa to try to keep his cool. He knows if he looks over at Louis or Eleanor he’ll see an evil grin so he keeps his eyes on Harry instead. It doesn’t help much, Harry licks his lips and sucks his bottom lip into his mouth.

 

Zayn’s pretty sure he might be dying slowly.

 

\---

 

 

It’s just that he didn’t expect this from Harry and he keeps trying to put together Cowell’s kid with the guy who inhaled half a banana just minutes ago in the kitchen. Or the kid who smiled dopily at Zayn in the office and then presses Zayn against his car the moment they’re alone outside, licks into his mouth so damn dirty, his lips slick and tongue warm. He thinks it’s because he wasn’t prepared, that’s why he’s moaning and whining, his hands clenching and unclenching with the need for anything and everything Harry’s willing to give him.

 

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I saw you in the office,” Harry breathes after pulling away, and Zayn can’t think straight, he’s pretty sure his head’s buzzing with so much want that he doesn’t know how to respond. Harry bites down on his bottom lip, which is fuck, swollen and just a little redder than before, and Zayn tries to remind himself to breathe. “Ready to take me home.”

 

Zayn knows he can’t form words and fuck sentences right now, but he’s able to pull himself together enough to nod his head and he really hopes he still has his basic driving skills.

 

Harry uses his phone's GPS and it should take twenty minutes but at the first red light at the road Zayn feels a hand returning to his thigh again. It doesn’t just rest though, it creeps up until it’s lying on his cock—his half hard cock and fuck if that isn’t distracting.

 

“Harry,” Zayn mutters out, his eyes on Harry’s hands that keep rubbing at him through his jeans until a horn blows and Zayn picks his head up to see that the light's now green. Zayn takes a quick glance at Harry, who’s smiling so brightly that he wonders how he could be so sinful and look so innocent at the same time.

 

“Sorry,” Harry says with a laugh but keeps his hand cupped against his cock. He doesn’t move it and Zayn can’t decide if it’s a good or bad thing. “Sorry I just, um, it’s still fifteen minutes till my house and I really want to suck your cock.”

 

Zayn doesn’t think, just swerves sharply and drives, makes a right until he’s pulling into an abandoned lot he passes a couple of times on his way to Louis’ house. He looks over at Harry, he really isn’t sure if he’s up for this but then Harry’s grabbing at Zayn’s buckle and fuck if that doesn’t say everything.

 

“Um, fuck,” Zayn says eloquently when Harry his cock out, giving short, quick strokes that has Zayn’s hips hitching up into it. “I don’t, shit, I don’t usually do this.” He feels the need to say because he doesn’t, but Harry’s so unlike he expected that it’s throwing off everything he’s used to doing.

 

“Yeah?” Harry asks and Zayn nods, watches as his head lowers with a little smile playing about his lips. “Well.” Zayn swallows when he presses a kiss onto his cock. “I kinda’ do.” Zayn can’t formulate a response, can’t even bring himself to think of anything when Harry swallows his cock to the hilt, lips pressing right against his balls. He tries to keep his hips down and hands steady as they dig into the car seat, doesn’t really want to choke him but Harry pulls back up eyes watery and lips beautifully wet. “ _Fuck_.”

 

He jacks Zayn off slowly, his cock slick with spit and precome and Zayn feels free to roll his hips into the hold. “Your cock’s so pretty,” Harry says and licks at his lips, Zayn ducks his head down to suck his bottom lip into his mouth because he wants to so badly and he knows he can.

 

“Yeah,” he mumbles against his lips and Harry nods, his curls swinging with it. Zayn uses a hand to brush it out of his face, give him a clear view when Harry leans back down, lips moving to the tip of his cock where swipes away a bead of precum with his tongue.

 

“So pretty babe.” He takes it down again just like the first time and Zayn’s hand’s tangled in his curls, unable to pull away as he feels himself bucking over in the seat with the urge to cum overwhelming him.

 

“Fuck Harry, fucking hell gonna…” Harry hums as he sucks, the vibrations nearly killing him. His head keeps bobbing against the seat and into Zayn’s hold on him. Zayn feels his hips sputtering upward, Harry jacking at the base as he sucks until _fuck_ , Zayn shoots right into his mouth. Harry sucks while Zayn’s mewls, tugging on his curls when it becomes too much.

 

He sinks back into the seat, his eyes shut so overwhelmed and overtaken by Harry’s— _fuck his everything_. He only peeks an eye open when he feels legs clambering over his, weight settling against him and sees Harry straddling him into the seat. “Hi,” he greets as if he wasn’t just choking on Zayn’s cock seconds ago. Zayn shakes his head but nods in response, watching as Harry unbuckles his own belt and unbuttons and unzips his jeans, his cock bobbing right out when it’s freed. Zayn licks his lips, kind of wishes he could return the favor now that he sees Harry’s cock. It’s impressive, Zayn knows it’s most likely longer than his, maybe his is a little thicker but Zayn's mostly interested in seeing if he can deep throat it so damn badly it almost hurts.

 

“You’re such a surprise, you know that yeah?” Harry blinks up at him, his eyes previously set on his cock as he jacks himself off.

 

“Am I?”

 

“Never did I think that Cowell raised such a freak.”

 

Harry stops stroking, glares a bit at Zayn, saying, “Can you not mention my father when I’m trying to beat off.” Zayn shrugs his shoulder but nods his head, Cowell _is_ one hell of a boner killer.

 

“Just saying babe.” Zayn picks off Harry’s hand and wraps his around it instead, gets a tight grip and tries to think about the things that drive him crazy when he jacks himself off.

 

“Glad I…” Harry trails off when Zayn swipes his hand against the sensitive spot just along his head and then slicks off the precum brewing with his free hand. “Fuck that’s hot.” Zayn smiles around the finger that he just sucked into his mouth with his precum and nods his head. “Glad I could surprise you.”

 

“I’m assuming you’ve been fucked?” Harry nods his head easily; trying to thrust his hips into the hold Zayn has on his cock. It's a little hard for him in such a cramped spot so Zayn hails his determination.

 

“Fucking love it.”

  
“Yeah, you gon’ let me fuck you tonight.” Harry nods again, his curls bobbing so much that Zayn has to get a hand on it, fists it with his free hand and pulls Harry into him. Harry rests his head in the crook of Zayn’s neck, breathing into the spot as Zayn starts jacking faster, knows by how roughly his hips are moving that he’s close. “Gonna’ fuck that tight little ass, yeah.”

 

“Yes, yes, want you to so bad Zayn.” Zayn feels him sucking into his neck, slobbering a bit, as he gets restless against him. “So close, please, please.”

 

“You gon’ beg for me just like that hmm, gon’ beg when I lick you open and then fuck you into you with my big dick huh?” Zayn hisses when Harry cums and bites into his shoulder, teeth digging into his skin as he spills all over his hand, his hips dancing against his as Zayn milks him through the orgasm.

 

“ _Fuck_.”

 

“Yeah, fuck,” Zayn repeats when Harry pulls back, places a kiss on his forehead.

 

“Louis was right about you, you know.”

 

“Hmm, what’d he say?”

 

“That you’re a total bad boy, how the fuck did I not notice.” Zayn shakes his head as Harry takes the time to tuck Zayn’s cock back in and zip him up and then do the same for himself.

 

“It’s probably the dimples, it’s good at fooling people.” Harry places a peck on his lips and swings himself back into his spot. “You don’t mind do you?” It feels like a loaded question with the way Harry blinks up at him, bites down on his bottom lip as if Zayn would end it with him for sucking him off and letting him jack him off in the car.

 

“Never,” Zayn says easily and puts the car in drive turning it around and back into the road. From the corner of his eyes he catches Harry smiling, his dimples on display and thinks about how much he owes Louis for this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on [Tumblr](http://dippedanddrapped.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://dippedanddrapped.tumblr.com/):


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